These diseases have got me down, physically and emotionally. As my doctor explained it.. They are like a freight train going down a hill. They are going to keep going faster and harder until they are stopped. So we are working on stopping them. I’m not sure how long this is supposed to take, but in the mean time I have had to stop working, dancing, running with my pup, rock climbing, doing yoga, and traveling. So I have a lot of time on my hands (when I’m not sleeping, of course) to worry about what the future holds. I know worrying isn’t helping, but it’s natural. It is said that just writing your worries down can relieve some of the stress.
I’m a little stressed, so here I go:
Will I be able to go back to work?
If I can’t go back to work, how will I have income?
Will I need a new career?
Will I be happy/fulfilled?
Will I be able to do the things I enjoy?
I’m not sure just writing them down is the answer, but it is a start.
The hardest part of this whole ordeal is not being in control, not knowing what the future holds, and not knowing how to plan for the future. But, I can plan for the future. I just have to plan for different options.
If I can go back to work, I will …
If I can’t go back to work, I will…
If I need a new career, I will….
If I have to take a new job I will find a way to feel fulfilled.
Will I be able to dance, run with my dog, rock climb, and do yoga again? Only time will tell. In the mean time I am finding new hobbies and ways to enjoy my life. Instead of dancing I am listening to music, laughing, and reading more. Instead of running with my dog we are cuddling more. Instead of rock climbing I am crocheting. Instead of yoga I am meditating. I am also finding time to sit outside. I enjoy slow, leisurely walks that allow me to see more than the fast paced walks I am used to. I also have time to help with the household chores (on my good days) that takes the stress off of my boyfriend. Its a different life, but still a fulfilling one.
What are your worries? How do you combat your concerns?