To Stay or To Vacay

     I was faced with a tough decision.  Should I go on vacation or stay in the comfort of my own home.  The old me would not have had to think for a second about this.  Of course I would choose vacation.  But, I don’t recognize myself anymore and I don’t enjoy being away from my comfortable bed, ice packs, and heating pads.  Not only was I unsure if I wanted to go on vacation, I was scared to go.  Would it take a toll on my health?  Would I be miserable?
     I talked it over with those closest to me.  Everyone agreed that I should go, as long as I took the necessary precautions.  My doctor even said she thought it would be good for me.  But, I was still scared.  What if I’m in pain while I’m there?  “You can hurt at home or you can hurt in a beautiful place,” is what I was told.  Good point.  However, anyone living in chronic pain can probably relate to my fear of suffering away from the comforts of home.
     I’ve never been someone that allows fear to make my decisions.   That’s changed and I don’t like it.  So I am trying to overcome it one step at a time.  The first step was going on vacation.
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Run when you can…

“Run when you can,

Walk if you have to,

Crawl if you must,

Just never give up.”

Dean Karnazes

It was just a few days ago that I was at my breaking point because I was so tired of being tired.  I’m not saying I’m soaring with energy, but I did have enough energy to go for a walk.  While we were walking my sweet pup started frolicking so I started a slow jog with her.  She pooped out pretty fast, but I didn’t!  I handed the leash off and continued to run.  You may be thinking, wow, she’s a runner.  Nope.  But, I do miss frolicking in the yard with my dog.  I also miss having the option of running on a trail.  It was such an amazing feeling to be able to run without pain.  It was nice to have enough energy to run.  I believe I ran a total of 1/8 of a mile, but hey, its a start.  I’ve been glowing ever since.